Love & Life

Doing the exact opposite!

Going Ultaa…

Tell everyone that you are totally over it. and that you are better off anyway. Stay in denial. Party really hard for days in a row. Go to the gym all day, start drinking at 5pm what are happy hours for right? and be an alcoholic by night. Tell everyone how you are sorted with everything and you’re too busy to be sad anyway.

Find out about your ex, then shrug and say ” Hmm like i care!” then order rounds of tequila shots. Just because you want to. Once you reach home break into dad’s bar and try some of his whiskey or any other intoxicant you can see! Go to your room, play the saddest songs you have, play them on loop. Cry the fuck out. Do like a performance for your eyes only, let your mascara run, let your hair be messed and obviously let your pajamas not match with your t-shirt. and if mumma or sister or room-mate walks in on you, simply increase the volume.

Play Phir-le-aya-dil or Feeling-blue or tere-bin-nahi-lagda-dil or try Shake it out by Florence and the machine! CRY. Cry some more.

Screw the gym, and the reading, stick to being an alcoholic for a few days. Send drunk messages to your friends, blame your crush to never have asked you out, blame everyone for not taking care of you. Let your family be pissed enough to actually hold a family and friends meeting, a serious discussion on your situation. Get the lesson loud and clear. Get drunk/stoned/wasted one last time.

Get back to your real self. Get a job. Get a life. Meet your friends actually, wish them on their birthdays. Plan outings with family. Eat normal ghar ka khana with them. Stay at home, feel lonely. Feel sad. Feel the emptiness. Finally start talking about what you feel, tell your friends how messed you are, you are not sorted, how you need them with you ALL THE TIME. Tell them to call you at night. speak on conference for over an hour about random crap so you don’t miss being on the phone.

Resist Alcohol. Don’t resist crying. Let it out. Once and for all this time.

Wake up depressed sometimes but know that things are already better and it will be perfect again. Dream all over again. Dream new dreams. Have new fantasies. Make new stories in your head.

One day you’ll wake up and realize that there is no pain any more. months later go through old pictures only to feel absolutely blank about them. And that is pure victory.

Say to yourself, “Hmm, so that’s how it feels to have moved on.”
Do a hair flip, play what makes you beautiful by one direction; Instagram a picture of your smiling face or the cute nail art you did or the new shoes you bought.

And have a good day. Better than you expected.

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