“I’m only one call away, I’ll be there to save the day; Superman got nothing on me, I’m only one call away”
These things we say to each other all the time like it’s nothing. The texts we send with a hundred emoticons, and the calls we make at 3am. The friends we are. I read an interesting article that described us as a generation of socialisers, not friends. Go-getters and fighters, not motivators or pushers. You know what I mean? We are the people who function not on emotion, or logic, or calculations or manipulations. We function purely and only on convenience.
No, I’m not blaming you or myself, I’m saying that most of the times we do it unknowingly, it feels so right to go with what is convenient we don’t even process the thought till it reaches “what will the other party involved feel”. We are not the thinkers, we are the do-ers. It does get pretty convenient to have your own gang, so you can continuously give #SquadGoals to the people who follow you. It’s convenient as you know each other so well, the vacation planning and executing is simpler. Friends for so many years you even know each others’ food orders and the exact drink the gang will like while celebrating another birthday or even a breakup. You stick together, most times because it’s just convenient. So convenient to not have to take efforts with someone new.
Get to know a new set of people, no.
Make them know you, no.
Actually hang out with a new set of people and be concerned about whether you will fit in, hell no.
Our gangs can be as messed up as the Gossip Girls squad, or even be straight up fake just like they show in those high school movies, but we somehow stick together cause you know, convenience. Weekends are sorted, birthdays and special days don’t have to be stressed on, and if you’re lucky they’re even there when you need a shoulder to cry on.
But here’s when you will be luckier; at the point where you’ll get sick of ‘convenience’ being the only reason you chose to stick around, or in some cases when they will walk away, cause you don’t fit in anymore. The reason can be just about anything, something you said or did or thought; or because there is a new convenience somewhere else. Here is your chance to know that F.R.I.E.N.D.S was only a TV show and you cannot be the Joey to the couple in your group; you can’t be the Rachel to a Monica who will help you build yourself and stay when you are at your worst, and even if she stays, one day you’re going to have to be on your own. Weekends indoors, dinners from take-out boxes and truckloads of alone time. Here is your chance to be your own ‘convenient’. Yes, you must get out and make some efforts now and again. But, on other days say no to plans you know that are made not because you are wanted, but just because of you know what. Say No, a lot more than you have all these years, choose yourself, choose your career, choose your family, choose anything that has a solid reason, not boredom, habit, or the ease of it.
Say No, a lot more than you have all these years, choose yourself, choose your career, choose your family, choose anything that has a solid reason, not boredom, habit, or the ease of it.
‘Friends’ thanks to the all these social networks calling every addition on the list as a ‘new friend’ is such a lose word. Don’t get lost in the blur of your snap chat and Instagram followers or the huge number of likes on your cool group picture. The WhatsApp groups are going to only make you miss the old times, where you thought everyone who said “I’m one call away” actually meant it. Let them go. Identify those who never gave up on you, those who you can’t ever seem to give up on. Those who choose you despite the inconvenience.
Even after they are married, or have moved away, those who face the time difference just to facetime with you at odd hours. That’s your tribe, hold them close. You are not 13 anymore, and in their late twenties they are all going to have somewhere else to be just as you will too. Make that difficult choice, don’t settle for people just cause they’re around or its less work. Fight for these few select people, they might not even stay in touch with you all the time, but you know they’ll be there.
For the rest, well, even though the missing won’t stop; we’re friends no more.