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Love & Life

Love & Life

The guesthouse – a short story.

Globex Corporation boasted about a handful number of achievements. In spite of being in a small town, they had everything just like in the big cities. The numbers, the technology and oh their full-service guesthouse. Every guest found an eerie connection with the guesthouse during their exit and swore to come back.

Meera was determined to design her new home herself, the grand fleet of stairs, the master bedroom overlooking the living area, the kids’ room with clouds painted on the walls, and her beloved mandir. Magnificent, just like in an old Hindi film. Meera’s family was going to grow up in this house. The couple would sing songs on Sundays, have game nights in the vacations and the kids, well how they grew up so soon Meera could never figure out.  

The staircase brought them a zillion little moments to cherish forever, siblings consoling each other, the younger one having one hell of a fall while running on the steps, the long phone conversations she had with her husband while he was away. The textured walls would always remind her of the fights she had with her teenage kids over the colours they wanted. The renovation brought the family so much closer, cramped up in the living room for months, quite literally. There was a hint of her in every nook of the house. 

The secret little study room for her man, the breezy room layout for her youngest boy, the lavish layout for her elder one, the well-planned rooftop for all their get-togethers and celebrations.  The elder one had a beautiful wedding here, in no time Meera’s grandchildren were born here. Their laughter filled the walls as did their late night screeching.

While decades passed, the family built, rebuilt, renovated and loved their home all the more. 

Sometimes, we don’t see the contribution of space in our life. We fail to notice the stitches on the knee that makes for a hilarious story to tell our kids someday, all because of that spot. The table under which you hid and cried for hours after your breakup, the dining table glass that broke during a silly stunt, the weeks you were grounded for being caught while smoking a cigarette on your rooftop, and the sneak-ins and outs for your various ‘good friends’. The spaces we build, the places we spend our hours in really do make us in many ways.  Your childhood home is etched in your deepest memory, you’re lucky if you still live there. But, what if you couldn’t anymore?

Of all the lessons she taught her family, only one thing she never did. To teach them to see a life without her. Seemed like heaven could use some of her tender loving care, she went away leaving her dream house, leaving her kids, her family, her love. 

They said it would be difficult for anyone to keep the house up like Meera did, her family did try. But alas they couldn’t. As she did, the home started feeling her absence too. Finances, fights, fear and so much happened so quickly, leaving her home to her heavenly sight was the only choice for the family.

When I walked past the gate of her home, I could smell a heavenly mix of masalas from her kitchen. It acted as a Pied Piper, drawing me towards the door. I dropped my laptop bag in the lobby and went straight in. A scrawny old man stood there stewing dinner. I felt a sudden sense of disappointment, maybe I expected someone else here cooking. The man saw my expression and exhaled “Meera wouldn’t like that look you know, this recipe was her top most favourite”

My disappointment was taken over by surprise “Meera, who?”

“The one who’s home you’re in”

“Isn’t this Globex Corporation, guesthouse”

and he said, “Well, that’s what they call it these days, but you know that name wasn’t the reason you felt drawn in or did you?”

image source: here

~Rashika Chanchlani.

Love & Life

Friends No More. 

“I’m only one call away, I’ll be there to save the day; Superman got nothing on me, I’m only one call away”

These things we say to each other all the time like it’s nothing. The texts we send with a hundred emoticons, and the calls we make at 3am. The friends we are. I read an interesting article that described us as a generation of socialisers, not friends. Go-getters and fighters, not motivators or pushers. You know what I mean? We are the people who function not on emotion, or logic, or calculations or manipulations. We function purely and only on convenience.

No, I’m not blaming you or myself, I’m saying that most of the times we do it unknowingly, it feels so right to go with what is convenient we don’t even process the thought till it reaches “what will the other party involved feel”. We are not the thinkers, we are the do-ers. It does get pretty convenient to have your own gang, so you can continuously give #SquadGoals to the people who follow you. It’s convenient as you know each other so well, the vacation planning and executing is simpler. Friends for so many years you even know each others’ food orders and the exact drink the gang will like while celebrating another birthday or even a breakup. You stick together, most times because it’s just convenient. So convenient to not have to take efforts with someone new.

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Get to know a new set of people, no.

Make them know you, no.

Actually hang out with a new set of people and be concerned about whether you will fit in, hell no.

Our gangs can be as messed up as the Gossip Girls squad, or even be straight up fake just like they show in those high school movies, but we somehow stick together cause you know, convenience. Weekends are sorted, birthdays and special days don’t have to be stressed on, and if you’re lucky they’re even there when you need a shoulder to cry on.

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But here’s when you will be luckier; at the point where you’ll get sick of ‘convenience’ being the only reason you chose to stick around, or in some cases when they will walk away, cause you don’t fit in anymore. The reason can be just about anything, something you said or did or thought; or because there is a new convenience somewhere else. Here is your chance to know that F.R.I.E.N.D.S was only a TV show and you cannot be the Joey to the couple in your group; you can’t be the Rachel to a Monica who will help you build yourself and stay when you are at your worst, and even if she stays, one day you’re going to have to be on your own. Weekends indoors, dinners from take-out boxes and truckloads of alone time. Here is your chance to be your own ‘convenient’. Yes, you must get out and make some efforts now and again. But, on other days say no to plans you know that are made not because you are wanted, but just because of you know what. Say No, a lot more than you have all these years, choose yourself, choose your career, choose your family, choose anything that has a solid reason, not boredom, habit, or the ease of it.

Say No, a lot more than you have all these years, choose yourself, choose your career, choose your family, choose anything that has a solid reason, not boredom, habit, or the ease of it.

‘Friends’ thanks to the all these social networks calling every addition on the list as a ‘new friend’ is such a lose word. Don’t get lost in the blur of your snap chat and Instagram followers or the huge number of likes on your cool group picture. The WhatsApp groups are going to only make you miss the old times, where you thought everyone who said “I’m one call away” actually meant it. Let them go. Identify those who never gave up on you, those who you can’t ever seem to give up on. Those who choose you despite the inconvenience.

Even after they are married, or have moved away, those who face the time difference just to facetime with you at odd hours. That’s your tribe, hold them close. You are not 13 anymore, and in their late twenties they are all going to have somewhere else to be just as you will too. Make that difficult choice, don’t settle for people just cause they’re around or its less work. Fight for these few select people, they might not even stay in touch with you all the time, but you know they’ll be there.

bwFor the rest, well, even though the missing won’t stop; we’re friends no more.

Love & Life Style

Ode-To-Saheli. This Friendships Day, it’s all about twinning with your BFF.

You know how we girls get about having the same top, or the same dress as anyone else. Literally, if a girl will walk past me on the road wearing the same dress as I own, I am instantly adding a mental note to go and burn the dress from my wardrobe and never wear it again. Wait, please tell me I am not the only one who does this.

I’m just going to assume that we all do get a little panic-y when we see others picking up similar stuff from racks to the trial rooms. I have even seen people dropping the outfits at the billing line cause someone else picked it. In frenemies too,oh-it-is the ultimate revenge to buy something just like hers and wear it before her. But, the whole scene is a 180 degree shift when it comes to my bestie.

My BFF is like a sister from another mister, so when I go shopping, I un-hesitantly pick two of a kind. And yes, sometimes we try and wear it separately but most days we wear it on the same day same time and totally slay with our twinning! We take on the risk of looking like band-walahs, but the attention and the cute ass pictures at the end of each twinning day are totally worth it. Have a look at my Ode-To-Saheli

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Because we need to be on first name basis with bollywood A listers, an ode to fortnightly catching up on cosmos and filmfares and more.IMG_9943

Because we need to strike lame poses and cute-sy locations. An ode to changing bbm display pictures every 2 hours.

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Because we need to watch Rakhi Sawant videos and also memorise newest item songs so we can sing them to each other. An ode to crappy lyrics and amazing memories.

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Because we need to gulp down gallons of coffee to bitch about the world around us. An ode to looking fabulous while battling our own inner demons.IMG_9982

Because we all need our BFF to get through life one day at a time. This friendships day, write an ode to your saheli and solemnly swear to continue being absolutely unadulterated bad asses for the next 82 years.

 

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Also, why don’t you dress alike and share some of those killer moments with us? Find us on Instagram, facebook or snapchat : rashika14190

Photography: Aishwarya Bhoir & Gaurav Rasane

Styling: Sakshi Nahar

Internet Famous T-shirts: Pantaloons India

Yellow Print Kurta: W, Lifestyle Stores.

Accessories: Our own.

Love & Life

I hope you’re happy.

I hope you’re happy; that’s such a lie. I hope you’re happy not without me though.

I thought I saw your car pass by, you in the drivers seat with your silly old glasses humming an annoying song and zooming way beyond speed limit.

I saw you by the window seat in one of our favourite cafes, eating watermelon feta cheese salad, one that I made you eat the first time.

I keep seeing you around town all the time, being completely oblivious to the fact that you don’t even stay in this city, you won’t really be here doing these things. Tell me one thing will you, would you not even stop by to say Hi if ever we cross paths again? Will you not give me a hug and ask me how I am doing?

So here’s something that no one ever told us about this damned age of technology, we have old photos to scroll for hours available on one touch, if we were brave enough to delete them from the gallery, there is always media history in the apps we use. There are location trackers and two million messages to read and eight different social media platforms that help you dive into sinful stalking and therefore either regret or feel the misery.

If we didn’t have all of this, firstly I think relationships would last longer, but if they didn’t atleast we wouldn’t take the effort to look at printed albums of horrible memories, but when everything is with you on this damn smartphone; where is the escape?

They said new experiences, new friends, new work projects will be my easy happy way out of you. Reality check: they either made me guilty of doing them without you, or make me want to call you and tell you all about it, or feel so majorly ridiculous that I just don’t want to do any of it. Travel alone is the top most overrated thing as of today, maybe it really gives you the ultimate taste of freedom, and new feelings and all that. But what if, making new memories alone is just as depressing and as refreshing for the very wounds you’re trying to escape?

Tell me one thing, would you be okay when I’ll look through you if ever we cross paths again? When I’ll not give you a hug, nor ask how you were doing. I can’t seem to accept the fact that you’re nowhere around me. I keep imagining you, I keep wanting you, I keep needing you, I keep loving you. I keep thinking about you, I keep drinking about you constantly obsessing about if you’re out there thinking about me too.

If I get nowhere in life, no dreams fulfilled, no awards, no fame, no coffees in Paris, but if you forgive me, if you forgive us, if I have your hand in mine again, I could die a happy woman. But hang on, Wait; here’s the thing about overrated stuff, not all of it is exaggerated. Although I’m pouring my heart out to you today, soon enough I’m going to be content, with no remorse, and truly happy for finally taking a stand for my life and for all you know, it will be the same technology and the same travel stories that lead me to fulfilling all my dreams that you once laughed on.

Love & Life

Closure: some got it and some never will.

As I cribbed to mom about going away somewhere to find “inner peace” she said “How can you possibly find it outside when it’s called “INNER” peace.” Most questions you’re striving to solve, have their answers hidden n the questions itself. Look harder she said.

I’ve read countless articles and watched too many movies that tell us how we need to cut out the toxic from our lives. The jobs, the places, the friends, the lovers. They said remove them all. Anything that does not make you happy should not be in your life. Anything that consumes you, makes you hate yourself needs to be deleted. So then we go ahead and do it. Sometimes with great courage and no future plans, we simply quit.

What nobody ever tells us about is what happens next. You know how some movies are entirely about how girl meets boy and they fall in love, it promptly ends on a wedding scene and it’s assumed that there is a happily ever after. And there are the new age films that show you a dysfunctional relationship and how unhappy the people are which promptly ends at the break-up scene and a confident walk assumably the happily ever after. How do some marriages end up in a divorce? How does one deal with rebounds, and loneliness after a long relationship? What if there is a ‘Happily Never After’ ? Loved ones are lost, relationships break, sometimes you don’t quit-you get fired. Sometimes you are not free, you are left out. Even after being the decider.

With the extremely strong examples around us, of choosing to be happy even if that causes sadness to someone else. What happens after we make the decision to remove the toxic? Something that consumed you all day, all night; someone that kept you on my toes with expectations to be met, work to be done, justifications to be given and also to be a certain way is gone. You chose this. It gave you happiness, yes, momentarily. But it makes people lonely. People these days leave so easily, with not even as much as a last conversation. Then begins this unending wait for closure. The what ifs, the I should have said this, the- we should have done that…and thoughts that start filling up the void. The void you didn’t even know you were going to face. Considering, all you ever wanted was freedom, well now that you have it, what do you do with it?

How many trips are going to take? How much alcohol can your body intake? Won’t you get tired of being fake? Will you go crawling back to what you left? or will you just sit there and wait for closure? Over the years, we’ve seen times of impulsive behaviour, times that we were completely at fault and times that we finally stepped up and took a stand. These actions are inevitably followed by guilt, or regret, or vulnerability, for a bit. Till the time we put everything on hold and expect a miraculous happy ending. Till the time you kept looking to getaway to find inner peace. Closure, I’ve realised, is not always a face off, a call, a letter or an email. Closure is accepting yourself for what has happened. Sometimes forgiving the other party in the picture is needed, to finally let go of the grudge. Sometimes forgiving yourself and trying to be better.

It is the most difficult task to do, forgiving yourself or loving yourself. Cause hate comes so easy, it brings it other negative feelings too. Closure from anything that is bothering you is already within you waiting to be simply accepted. The answers are within you, not in the gyaan sort of way, but really. Take in a long deep breath and be prepared for each day as it comes. Soon there will come a time when you’ll be too busy to hold and analyse your past. Till then, let go of those silly expectations, they never come true anyway. Be your own healer. Be Jugni.

 

Love & Life Uncategorized

Don’t be gentle, when you leave. Tear me apart.

When our time comes, which you know it does so often. Don’t be gentle when you leave.

When we say goodbye for one last time, don’t say a goodbye, say something hurtful with hate.

When I look up to you with craving eyes, make the face of disgust and walk away.

When I beg you to call me,  or hear me just once. Bang the phone and block me.

When I text you telling you that we should rethink this, don’t ever bother replying.

When you hear of me crying over you, go celebrate and don’t forget to do a social media campaign around it.

When I’m fallen on the ground, don’t offer me your hands. Kick some dust and storm away.

So when our time comes, don’t try to be heroic. Crumple my paper heart and dump it.

Because, we both know, if you leave gently, I’ll follow you around like a lovesick puppy. If you leave so gently, my heart will make you see a make believe home where we can make things work. I will build us a dream that will be hard to escape.

If you leave gently, I will ask you to stay.

They all said we wouldn’t last, they said this will fade away. We proved them wrong and stayed strong, only for us to eventually fray. It was paradise, it was war-zone. So I said when you leave me, don’t be gentle. tear me apart so I won’t beg you to stay.

Why then am I so hurt when you merely did what I asked you to do? Our mind can be a hell of its own kind, it makes me constantly believe if I turned you into this or were you always this way.

Hurry up now, don’t stop, don’t look back to see the salt on my cheeks. You are almost there, go dive into another heart and forget that we ever existed.

And hey, when you leave her, remember, don’t be gentle, don’t make her ask you to stay.

Love & Life

To my almost.

For when we spoke the other night and didn’t stop till there was light

I didn’t know that I was losing myself in you, in a way I never do.

 

For when you called me your best friend and didn’t stop till I believed

I didn’t know that I never before had felt so accepted and so relieved.

 

For when you said you’d rather marry me and didn’t stop till I agreed

I didn’t know it was my heart’s desire and my only true need.

 

For these days, that begin with your messages and don’t end without your call

I feel like your words are all I want, and I do want them all.

 

For my mixed signals and almost replies

I want you to know that I’ve lived through many lies.

 

For one day I think our stars will align, and my heart will see

You are not just an almost, you’re completely meant for me.

 

 

Love & Life

Your search ends here, I found Happy.

It’s easy to be beautiful looking, it’s something else to be the one that makes you happy. So amongst all the compliments you shower me with, here’s one i keep waiting to hear. “You make me so happy” it’s like the ultimate award, the only golden star i need, to feel that however wrong things might be, if I succeed at keeping you happy, I succeed at life.

We all have our relationships, those that make us sad, some that make us revengeful, some that make us angry, some helpless, some sexy and rare ones that make us happy. It is these relationships that bring us back to our original self when we are down in the dump about work or career or just about anything else. This man or this woman who picks us up and makes us feel so validated that everything seems ok. Seems good. Good enough to go another day. To see another day of crashing stock markets, annoying bosses, terrible school time, another day feeling a little less lonely and a little more hopeful.

Our happy maker is the one who uses the right words at the time. A cheesy pick up line just before you ask them to get you a drink in the club, a bollywood dialogue just when you are about to step out of the house, a text message with lyrics to a song that describes how happy they are all because of you. This happy maker is the reason you experience a giggle between massive tears, a blush in a serious situation, a tingling sensation at the back of your neck, or an endless stupid smile on your face. Your happy maker can be in the very room that you are sitting in, he or she can be far away and still making you very happy, he/she can also be someone who comes and goes in your life but never fails to leave you happier. With all the books we read and the movies we watch we struggle to find our happy maker, and then one day you receive a message that says “You change my life with your presence, you are my sunshine” and that’s when you look into the mirror and realise that ‘YOU’ are the one. And maybe the world needs less people looking for happiness and more of us just being happy.

As we relaunch Jugni & Co. we urge you to step out of your little box of issues, spread some sunshine, make someone so happy that your silly little box feels invalid. Because, if I succeed at keeping you happy, I succeed at life. I am the happy maker, I am Jugni.

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Love & Life

#SistersBeforeMisters : The contest your girl gang has been waiting for!

Things that we claim will always remain with us, are most of the time, the first things that crumble and fade away. Whereas people who we think less about are around us, rooting for us, no matter what. Through breakups and makeups, lies and interventions, rainbows and storms, my girls never went away. Without written promises, without paperwork or ceremonies or changing my last name. My girls are my sisters, my soulmates and they stay the same even if we had to meet only once in years. Continue Reading

Love & Life

Feels and Chills.

Sometimes a simple text can give you goosebumps, a long overdue apology, an unexpected “I really love you” message, or one which describes thoughts, that seem stolen from your own head. The goosebumps are real.d6921f10b25de2103860ddc0919c2345

Sometimes a mundane moment can make you feel absolutely blissed out. When you are lying in bed, wondering how can everything feel this perfect. Like what did I ever do so right to deserve this. When you order in room service, and eat a hearty breakfast in crisp white bathrobes, by the pool in the winter sunshine. The bliss is real.Four-Seasons-Hotel-Singapore_CouplesFloor

Sometimes, the current you feel from another person is not static, it is a legit spark you feel in every cell within your body that screams out to tell you something big. Like, ‘this is it’. A peck on the cheek, especially when you are blushing like crazy, a peck so intense on your tiny little dimple. A deep kiss on his shoulder, taking in all that magical perfume. Not turning on, but just enough to make you dizzy. The electricity is real.

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When Jai said it to Meera, “yeh tum wali feeling”, “aadat”. When Ranveer and Tia hugged for the first time, and when Armaan and Riddhima confessed their love. When he finally held me and pressed his lips against my forehead, and when I was too shy to look up, he kissed my head again with the same intensity. That Imtiaz Ali level romance is ‘Feels and Chills’ And that moment when it hits you, when you realise that is ‘the kick’ you have been waiting for, when you know you found the purpose of your life, to keep someone at peace, happy, making their heart beat faster and slower at the same time.

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Does it happen to you, when you hold hands in the car? Or when you hug for more than ten seconds and don’t want to let go? Does it happen to you that when you experience these feels and chills, you know that your soul is still there at that place,in that moment and your bodies have moved away? Does it give you sleepless nights, thinking of what could have been, or would we ever be better than this?

Feels and chills are real. Those that give us, defining moments. Those rare countable on your fingertips moments, which make your heart take over everything else. That moment in a concert when you just let it all go and jump to a 128bpm song, that moment when you down your third LIT in a crowded club and truly let your hair down. That moment, when you know, you and him will never be just friends again. That moment, that changes a tiny bit inside you forever. A moment that will never be undone, cause you won’t let it fade away from your memory.

I wish all of you, more feels and chills and life-defining moments. I wish that ecstatic microsecond that you once felt, comes alive in every sense and never ever let you forget how majestic you are. How miraculous your relationships are. How magical this life is.

And you silly, you are Magic. You are Jugni.

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All images from google.