I hope you’re happy; that’s such a lie. I hope you’re happy not without me though.
I thought I saw your car pass by, you in the drivers seat with your silly old glasses humming an annoying song and zooming way beyond speed limit.
I saw you by the window seat in one of our favourite cafes, eating watermelon feta cheese salad, one that I made you eat the first time.
I keep seeing you around town all the time, being completely oblivious to the fact that you don’t even stay in this city, you won’t really be here doing these things. Tell me one thing will you, would you not even stop by to say Hi if ever we cross paths again? Will you not give me a hug and ask me how I am doing?
So here’s something that no one ever told us about this damned age of technology, we have old photos to scroll for hours available on one touch, if we were brave enough to delete them from the gallery, there is always media history in the apps we use. There are location trackers and two million messages to read and eight different social media platforms that help you dive into sinful stalking and therefore either regret or feel the misery.
If we didn’t have all of this, firstly I think relationships would last longer, but if they didn’t atleast we wouldn’t take the effort to look at printed albums of horrible memories, but when everything is with you on this damn smartphone; where is the escape?
They said new experiences, new friends, new work projects will be my easy happy way out of you. Reality check: they either made me guilty of doing them without you, or make me want to call you and tell you all about it, or feel so majorly ridiculous that I just don’t want to do any of it. Travel alone is the top most overrated thing as of today, maybe it really gives you the ultimate taste of freedom, and new feelings and all that. But what if, making new memories alone is just as depressing and as refreshing for the very wounds you’re trying to escape?
Tell me one thing, would you be okay when I’ll look through you if ever we cross paths again? When I’ll not give you a hug, nor ask how you were doing. I can’t seem to accept the fact that you’re nowhere around me. I keep imagining you, I keep wanting you, I keep needing you, I keep loving you. I keep thinking about you, I keep drinking about you constantly obsessing about if you’re out there thinking about me too.
If I get nowhere in life, no dreams fulfilled, no awards, no fame, no coffees in Paris, but if you forgive me, if you forgive us, if I have your hand in mine again, I could die a happy woman. But hang on, Wait; here’s the thing about overrated stuff, not all of it is exaggerated. Although I’m pouring my heart out to you today, soon enough I’m going to be content, with no remorse, and truly happy for finally taking a stand for my life and for all you know, it will be the same technology and the same travel stories that lead me to fulfilling all my dreams that you once laughed on.