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Don’t be gentle, when you leave. Tear me apart.

When our time comes, which you know it does so often. Don’t be gentle when you leave.

When we say goodbye for one last time, don’t say a goodbye, say something hurtful with hate.

When I look up to you with craving eyes, make the face of disgust and walk away.

When I beg you to call me,  or hear me just once. Bang the phone and block me.

When I text you telling you that we should rethink this, don’t ever bother replying.

When you hear of me crying over you, go celebrate and don’t forget to do a social media campaign around it.

When I’m fallen on the ground, don’t offer me your hands. Kick some dust and storm away.

So when our time comes, don’t try to be heroic. Crumple my paper heart and dump it.

Because, we both know, if you leave gently, I’ll follow you around like a lovesick puppy. If you leave so gently, my heart will make you see a make believe home where we can make things work. I will build us a dream that will be hard to escape.

If you leave gently, I will ask you to stay.

They all said we wouldn’t last, they said this will fade away. We proved them wrong and stayed strong, only for us to eventually fray. It was paradise, it was war-zone. So I said when you leave me, don’t be gentle. tear me apart so I won’t beg you to stay.

Why then am I so hurt when you merely did what I asked you to do? Our mind can be a hell of its own kind, it makes me constantly believe if I turned you into this or were you always this way.

Hurry up now, don’t stop, don’t look back to see the salt on my cheeks. You are almost there, go dive into another heart and forget that we ever existed.

And hey, when you leave her, remember, don’t be gentle, don’t make her ask you to stay.

Love & Life

Your search ends here, I found Happy.

It’s easy to be beautiful looking, it’s something else to be the one that makes you happy. So amongst all the compliments you shower me with, here’s one i keep waiting to hear. “You make me so happy” it’s like the ultimate award, the only golden star i need, to feel that however wrong things might be, if I succeed at keeping you happy, I succeed at life.

We all have our relationships, those that make us sad, some that make us revengeful, some that make us angry, some helpless, some sexy and rare ones that make us happy. It is these relationships that bring us back to our original self when we are down in the dump about work or career or just about anything else. This man or this woman who picks us up and makes us feel so validated that everything seems ok. Seems good. Good enough to go another day. To see another day of crashing stock markets, annoying bosses, terrible school time, another day feeling a little less lonely and a little more hopeful.

Our happy maker is the one who uses the right words at the time. A cheesy pick up line just before you ask them to get you a drink in the club, a bollywood dialogue just when you are about to step out of the house, a text message with lyrics to a song that describes how happy they are all because of you. This happy maker is the reason you experience a giggle between massive tears, a blush in a serious situation, a tingling sensation at the back of your neck, or an endless stupid smile on your face. Your happy maker can be in the very room that you are sitting in, he or she can be far away and still making you very happy, he/she can also be someone who comes and goes in your life but never fails to leave you happier. With all the books we read and the movies we watch we struggle to find our happy maker, and then one day you receive a message that says “You change my life with your presence, you are my sunshine” and that’s when you look into the mirror and realise that ‘YOU’ are the one. And maybe the world needs less people looking for happiness and more of us just being happy.

As we relaunch Jugni & Co. we urge you to step out of your little box of issues, spread some sunshine, make someone so happy that your silly little box feels invalid. Because, if I succeed at keeping you happy, I succeed at life. I am the happy maker, I am Jugni.


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Love & Life

Feels and Chills.

Sometimes a simple text can give you goosebumps, a long overdue apology, an unexpected “I really love you” message, or one which describes thoughts, that seem stolen from your own head. The goosebumps are real.d6921f10b25de2103860ddc0919c2345

Sometimes a mundane moment can make you feel absolutely blissed out. When you are lying in bed, wondering how can everything feel this perfect. Like what did I ever do so right to deserve this. When you order in room service, and eat a hearty breakfast in crisp white bathrobes, by the pool in the winter sunshine. The bliss is real.Four-Seasons-Hotel-Singapore_CouplesFloor

Sometimes, the current you feel from another person is not static, it is a legit spark you feel in every cell within your body that screams out to tell you something big. Like, ‘this is it’. A peck on the cheek, especially when you are blushing like crazy, a peck so intense on your tiny little dimple. A deep kiss on his shoulder, taking in all that magical perfume. Not turning on, but just enough to make you dizzy. The electricity is real.


When Jai said it to Meera, “yeh tum wali feeling”, “aadat”. When Ranveer and Tia hugged for the first time, and when Armaan and Riddhima confessed their love. When he finally held me and pressed his lips against my forehead, and when I was too shy to look up, he kissed my head again with the same intensity. That Imtiaz Ali level romance is ‘Feels and Chills’ And that moment when it hits you, when you realise that is ‘the kick’ you have been waiting for, when you know you found the purpose of your life, to keep someone at peace, happy, making their heart beat faster and slower at the same time.

Love Aaj Kal 2009 BDRip x264 E-SuB xRG.mp4_006496818


Does it happen to you, when you hold hands in the car? Or when you hug for more than ten seconds and don’t want to let go? Does it happen to you that when you experience these feels and chills, you know that your soul is still there at that place,in that moment and your bodies have moved away? Does it give you sleepless nights, thinking of what could have been, or would we ever be better than this?

Feels and chills are real. Those that give us, defining moments. Those rare countable on your fingertips moments, which make your heart take over everything else. That moment in a concert when you just let it all go and jump to a 128bpm song, that moment when you down your third LIT in a crowded club and truly let your hair down. That moment, when you know, you and him will never be just friends again. That moment, that changes a tiny bit inside you forever. A moment that will never be undone, cause you won’t let it fade away from your memory.

I wish all of you, more feels and chills and life-defining moments. I wish that ecstatic microsecond that you once felt, comes alive in every sense and never ever let you forget how majestic you are. How miraculous your relationships are. How magical this life is.

And you silly, you are Magic. You are Jugni.


All images from google.

Love & Life

The one that got away.

You see, your first love isn’t the first person you give your heart to—it’s the first one who breaks it.

And no, maybe you did not have a long tearful breakup, maybe you did. Maybe they left without no warning, maybe they gave you plenty of them. Maybe you just one side-dly built up all these castles in the air when the other went ahead with someone else.

Your heart broke, it was so loud that you could not hear anything else, and the worst was that no one else could hear it from inside of you. And then you picked up your pieces and lead an almost life, but could never stop thinking about the one that got away.

The college crush, the stalker you became.

The marriage proposal from an extended family member, the dreamer you became.

The ex-boyfriend who came back, and the excited teenager you became.

For various reasons and different situations, I have a feeling like we all keep an eye on the one that got away. With all these million social media options, it only became easier to continue guilty pleasures of stalking. An ocassional snapchat, or facebook inboxing, just a friendly iMessage; anything that gets the ball rolling in your favour again. Sometimes, it gives you a huge morale boost to be able to text someone you were attracted to so intensely, now with so much ease and no fuss.

Sometimes, you are just craving to know if they ever felt the same way about you. Sometimes, when you get to know that, you enter a conflict within yourself. Sometimes, it does not bother you. Whereas, sometimes you heave a sigh of relief as you can finally let it go.

Insecurity, creeps in with these little little ideas. Of keeping in touch, just checking in, liking the pictures or meeting a little too often. We are all human beings after all, with a strong tendency to get bored and will to wander off. The most fufilling experiences are the ones that we always wished for or thought of. The could haves and the would haves.

Did your ‘one-that-got-away’ go away to make it better for you? or did they just have someone better?The one that got away, might not necessarily lead to conflicts, if it does you have your answer loud and clear isn’t it? And if you are one of those who wants to focus on the here&now, then shift+delete, this entire scene of keeping an eye on your lost might-be-soulmate. Make better of what you have now, cause if it didn’t happen before, you might have had a pretty big reason to not go ahead with it.

But, feelings can’t be ignored no matter how unjust or unfair they seem. And it’s said somewhere in the world that no one can heal a broken heart, better than the one who broke it. Even if that’s not true, there is today a person somewhere in this world living the life that you imagined, but you are not in it. If that line changes anything, maybe you need to put everything on hold and first clear this out. Speak to that person, find out the reason. Either make peace with it or do something about it that will make you sleep better each night. Find your first love and fix it, don’t get it back, but fix it. Not for anybody else this time, only for you.

Love & Life

Intense. Love.

Held by her arm and threw her on the floor.
Lifted her by the hair and dragged her up the stairs.
Smashed a glass bottle above her right ear.
She stared into space, the space in my direction. Like calling out to me. Like screaming in pain. Helpless, hopeless, dying.

I saw her body being taken away. On a stretcher. No one to claim it, no family, no friends, no one. I could not step up, I knew they would kill me too. I wanted to live. I felt disgusted with myself, and was broken for losing her. The history you may ask, its long and complicated. She could not know too much of me, I could not live without her. Should have stayed away, should have not endangered her life.

This life I was living, this work I was doing did not allow me to meet outsiders, to talk to strangers, to fall in love, to live. This life I was living came with an unspoken contract. A contract when breached would take away the one thing I love most. It would have taken her life, I knew, I only hoped for it not to happen. I used her. I thought she would magically get me out of this, she would be my escape route and in turn I would give her a better life too, with me. The possibility of us, kept me going.

Thoughts of me finding and killing that man was my only survival tactic. With each passing day all I want to do is find him and give him a painful death. It grew in my mind like a virus. And that day when the dose was too strong, when I just could not fall asleep, I saw you… we went together towards the drawer, pulled out another shot and injected it. It hit me this time, and I never thought I will be able to sleep. I felt you placing my head in your lap, I am now sleeping the way I never did before. The way that brought me to you, in a world so new, that I could feel you again.

Your touch, your hair playing around your neck, your kiss, and your fingers entwined in mine. “And in this moment, I felt infinite…”

Some love stories need no beginning, need no explanation, need no backdrop nor details. They need intensity, intensity that can be shared in a few words and leave you contemplating what could have been, what was and what will be of them now. Some love stories exist only to end bitterly.

And that is why sometimes when we cannot be together, you need to know that it is enough to just know that you and I exist in this moment.

Apart but together. Different places but at one time.drug_overdose_by_pontaz92-d34aqfn

Love & Life

Doing the exact opposite!

Going Ultaa…

Tell everyone that you are totally over it. and that you are better off anyway. Stay in denial. Party really hard for days in a row. Go to the gym all day, start drinking at 5pm what are happy hours for right? and be an alcoholic by night. Tell everyone how you are sorted with everything and you’re too busy to be sad anyway.

Find out about your ex, then shrug and say ” Hmm like i care!” then order rounds of tequila shots. Just because you want to. Once you reach home break into dad’s bar and try some of his whiskey or any other intoxicant you can see! Go to your room, play the saddest songs you have, play them on loop. Cry the fuck out. Do like a performance for your eyes only, let your mascara run, let your hair be messed and obviously let your pajamas not match with your t-shirt. and if mumma or sister or room-mate walks in on you, simply increase the volume.

Play Phir-le-aya-dil or Feeling-blue or tere-bin-nahi-lagda-dil or try Shake it out by Florence and the machine! CRY. Cry some more.

Screw the gym, and the reading, stick to being an alcoholic for a few days. Send drunk messages to your friends, blame your crush to never have asked you out, blame everyone for not taking care of you. Let your family be pissed enough to actually hold a family and friends meeting, a serious discussion on your situation. Get the lesson loud and clear. Get drunk/stoned/wasted one last time.

Get back to your real self. Get a job. Get a life. Meet your friends actually, wish them on their birthdays. Plan outings with family. Eat normal ghar ka khana with them. Stay at home, feel lonely. Feel sad. Feel the emptiness. Finally start talking about what you feel, tell your friends how messed you are, you are not sorted, how you need them with you ALL THE TIME. Tell them to call you at night. speak on conference for over an hour about random crap so you don’t miss being on the phone.

Resist Alcohol. Don’t resist crying. Let it out. Once and for all this time.

Wake up depressed sometimes but know that things are already better and it will be perfect again. Dream all over again. Dream new dreams. Have new fantasies. Make new stories in your head.

One day you’ll wake up and realize that there is no pain any more. months later go through old pictures only to feel absolutely blank about them. And that is pure victory.

Say to yourself, “Hmm, so that’s how it feels to have moved on.”
Do a hair flip, play what makes you beautiful by one direction; Instagram a picture of your smiling face or the cute nail art you did or the new shoes you bought.

And have a good day. Better than you expected.

Love & Life

Diary of a Bride- Sit back and enjoy this one part by part!

“Just a month back, I had tears in my eyes, my friends holding my hands and my loved ones standing by my side, I was all ready to get into this elaborate affair with my college sweetheart, just like in any movie wedding changes the story and mine was already changing. I looked at my Ma for support, with puppy dog eyes asking her to hold me back, but she wanted me to take those steps, I love him with my entire core but at the same time “Was I ready?”

Well turns out the time to ask questions was over…this is my story from college romance to the Wedding Affair.

Sipping on hostel room coffee, looking at the magnificent view from my hostel window under little drizzle, little did I know that my friends are here to cause a havoc of lifetime…

“yaar, tum mujhe karne do” Niharika is on fire chatting away with a guy I barely know.

“Chalo ab kal pata chalega ki bande mein himmat hain ya nahin” she said!

“Ye kya kiya tumne yaar, ab agar usne kal sabke samne propose kiya tho main kya karungi?” (I gasped)

“Tum uske sath date pe jaungi…Obviously!” They are laughing their asses off and I cannot digest a word.

As usual, I get up late, I get ready late, he is calling, and he is here, SHIT.

We walk out of hostel gate, little further ahead, only to see a bunch of fellow seniors walking toward us along with Him and I am with two of my friends, we are outnumbered by a lot. He is blushing so much that he can actually make me look less like a woman. Everybody is gaping at us in the middle of the road, where he is very sweetly sitting on his knees.

“Will you come out on a date with me?” He asks in the most sheepish manner that I have ever witnessed…

“Hmmm…let’s talk about this later” I want to avoid this situation, I want choice, and I need time.

“Either you say yes or I am not getting up”

Oh Crap. I gawk at him mindlessly. I try to move, shift from the view, but he doesn’t budge, few seconds seem endless.

“Ok, one date only” He is elated.

After three and half years of up’s and down, very irritating fights and some really romantic dinners we are here, to be bound for life.

If I look back to find one time where I absolutely fell in love with my man would be like searching the universe for a star because I fall and I fell for him every time he plants a kiss on me or wraps his arms around me or just looks out for me before he enters the room or simply smiles at the mere sight of me, oh he is sucker for love! He has turned me into a romantic buff (or was I always one). Even though this passion always existed I realised it slowly and I am glad I enjoyed each and every bit of it.

Now that the Wedding affair is to pan out…all I can do is wish and go back to simpler times, to times where I did not have to worry about which colour Saree to pick or matching set or remember the names of lentils (daal).

I am worried, I panic all the time, whoever said “Wedding is bliss” he or she must have been high!

I am an introvert, I take time to warm up and I am entering a family which is typically Punjabi (warm, happy & talkative) they believe in “more the merrier” and to me I am happy with my laptop and a cup of coffee.  I am a Punjabi too but just without the Oyye factor.

The month has passed I am to board the flight to my wedding destination, all I can do is cry, two days will fly in preparation just like the rest and I will get a Mrs tag, god I want to run away.

On the day of my mehndi, I am waiting for my family and friends to reach here, I am laughing helplessly, every single word is hurting but I laugh when I am sad and nobody knows that, they say it is mix feelings but to me I am not ready. In the midst of all these thoughts, we are super late for my Sangeet and my makeup artist ditched me, Rhea is holding me strong with her makeup tactics, Niharika is doing my nails and my cousins are fetching me hot rollers, god how late are we?

Finally we are ready and my in laws have exhausted their dancing powers, one way I am glad other way I am agitated that we are so late… I am so nervous, I want this to be over like ASAP. I don’t want to be awkward but I am socially awkward, oh there he is, he looks immensely happy, why am I not that happy…oh it will be alright…he is here.

Well to be fair I don’t remember anything from there on, time is flying, from one person to another dragging me around, Namastes and pairi paunas! I feel happy, I feel sad but most of all I am irritated that life is making me do this, I am not one of those happy brides or crazy brides, I am a nervous wreck, I would miss my Ma, my brother and my Papa’s silence but most of all I would miss a carefree me, not like I am walking into trap or a jail but mostly because I don’t feel I am ready, I love the guy, I know his family but nothing in this world will make me feel the way I feel at home.

Perhaps I just hate the whole institution of wedding but love is nevertheless a messy road laid with uncanny truth that you cannot escape, if not for him, this would never have happened. As I complete one month of this journey with my unconditionally loving husband, I’d say if not for him I would have been a spinster, so cheers to him.”

Jugni says: Not all brides are out of YRFilms! Not all of them want things big and elaborate, some don’t want any of the drama. They just need the one man they Love and the one day they became 2 bodies and one soul. Have a wedding story you want to share? Are you a bride-to-be too? Tell us, we love listening to crazy stories!

Be Dulhaniya, Be Jugni!

Jugni's Take

Dus Numbri: 10 Epic movie inspired date ideas

With so much mush all around us, Jugni can’t help but get caught with the Love Bug.

Here’s all the gyaan you need to know to plan the filmiest date on the planet. For the singles, you can read-imagine-drool-wish or just read it cause we say so.

10. Maine Pyaar Kiya:

Just before her big birthday Prem needs to leave for work, he makes up by arranging for the nicest surprise on the terrace. With a gift wrapped dress to meet him in, with dim lights and mere rang mein rangnewali playing in the background. The iconic kiss on the glass door and the sheer courage it took to plan a date in those times gets this one a place in our Dus Numbri List.

9. Karthik Calling Karthik:

This is one of the few dates who’s asking out technique also we totally love! Texting, Mailing, IM-ing, Xerox machine trick, the different ways Karthik asked her out were so cute. And when she finally said yes. It was a coffee date but with an amazing bike ride all the way to tiger point in khandala. Was she amazed, hell yes! The best was how he told her the plan when they were already on the way and had home made coffee in a flask with cups, saucers and sugar sachets too! It’s a date idea done by many, seen in emotional attyachaar and still doesn’t fail to impress the women, bringing it at number nine in our Dus Numbri List.

8. The Terminal:

Story of a guy stranded on an airport in war zone forced to stay there temporarily. Like 6 months at the airport. Amidst that he falls in love with an air hostess and plans the cutest date there itself. With all the bonds he has made with the staff and other people he is forced to stay with e brings an ideal candle lit dinner setting, with drinks, entertainment and sweetest talks ever. Bringing this one at number eight on our list.

7. Murder 3:

Before thinking of how crappy the movie was lets not forget the song in which Randeep Hooda expresses his love to Aditi Rao in the most elaborate ways. Our favourite? The picnic date. In the middle of a garden with warm sun a day spent reading books leaning on each other, eating sandwiches and fancy food from a typical picnic basket, it was good already till it just got better. As the sun went down there were fireworks all around their mat making it the most exaggerated date scene and oh-so-wow to look at. Jugni would add the sky lantern surprise here and take it a notch higher in the mushy meter!

6. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi:

Wouldn’t it be the best to actually have someone to light up the whole city with the words “I Love You” just for us? Even though that was the high point of that date, the whole day spent going around down in the most famous temple/ gurudwara/ church/masjid appeals to us too. Don’t you like the idea of praying together? Or simply saying thank you to the Almighty for giving you the love of your life? Try it. It takes senti to an all new level.

Bringing you the 5-4-3-2-1 very soon! Stay Tuned, Stay Jugni.